being a minority

"... some disabled people call you TAPs, or Temporarily Abled Persons" (Mairs 15).  This chilling line stuck with me long after finishing the reading-  we are, after all, prone to an accident any moment of our lives.  Yet with that truth in mind, why are disabilities so hard to accept?  They are still seen as the unfortunate, the people to be careful around.  As the Mair mentioned, her disability "doesn't devour [her] wholly".  Just like the rare eye color green, such abnormalities should not become the essence of a person.

disability is only a characteristic, not a person

We talk a lot about minorities in this class, from African Americans to those with disabilities to females.  As an asian, I can whole-heartedly agree with many of these people's claims of disadvantages. One of the problems with Troy High is that many people do not understand what it feels like to be an minority- especially asians.  Students are eventually stratified with their own nationality as classes become more varied, and it's often rare to see different cultures mixing.  Just take a look at the tables during lunch: groupings are almost strictly by race.  However, in reality, only 5.6% of the population is Asian; that is for sure a minority. Yet according to the 2010 census, nearly 1 in 5 people have a disability.  Then why is the idea of being disabled seems so far away and unreachable?

alumni of Troy High, and experiencing the limitations of being asian in the adult world

Throughout this post I have made it sound like a disability is as limiting as being asian; however, in reality, a disability can truly consume one's life and activities, preventing them from doing daily acts. Nonetheless, is not how the disability affects the person, but rather how the TAPs view them.  Minorities will continue to be unproportional in numbers to their more prevalent peers, but the characteristics that stymie them should not control their potential.

Frozen Dreams

As early action decisions start rolling out this month, many seniors will be either devastated or ecstatic.  It seems like this piece of paper, this letter of admissions, is the pivotal point in their lives. In other words, it's their Judy Jones.  This moment in their life is probably the most important up to this point, as they are constantly "unconsciously dictated by [their] winter dreams" (Fitzgerald 2).

Dexter starts out as the epitome of a self made man, one that rises from modesty to recognition and wealth.  However, Judy Jones comes in and- in part- ruins much of what he has worked for.  In other words, Judy comes to represent the materialism that was the demise for many of the wealthy during the Jazz Age.  Ultimately, Judy becomes "old news" and all the sacrifice Dexter made for her went to nothing.  The irony of the situation seems to parallel modern society with the rigorous college admissions process.  Many parents start preparing their children to become respected and educated students from a young age.  However, these efforts often go in vain as we as students tend to forget what we are really working for.  Judy/college comes into our lives, becoming our winter dream.  Yet contradictorily, these dreams freeze our conscious, rendering us from moving forward.  In the end, all dreams, all hope, cannot be focused on one goal or one object.  Because when that thing is gone, so is all the hope.  

don't let anything block your vision

Fitzgerald's warning against materialism and the demise of the once potent American Dream can even be seen today.  Similar to the way racism is still present (and how Lorraine Hansberry included the continuation of the problem in Raisin in the Sun), the problem of frozen dreams and blurred vision continues to deter talented students from the real goal. 

destroyed and alone

The entire ending of this book was just a emotional storm-- actually, the entire book was.  I was constantly torn between straight up fangirling and obsessing over the rich and sophisticated Gatsby (Leanardo DiCaprio!!!) and yelling at him to stop obsessing over the past. The fact that Gatsby held these wild parties with great attendance and ceaseless attention over his mysterious figure by its guests seems to contradict his bland funeral.  Why is it that someone who was so popular when he was alive just a ghost once his spirit is gone?

he was alone in the end.

Ironically, the only person who came to his funeral other than the ever so constant Nick is the father who James Gatz left as a young man.  As a man who was never influenced by the materialism wealth (he stayed in the West all of his life), Gatsby's father does not have the fickleness that the residents of the East do: he values people with moral values without regarding them as mere temporary items.  It seems that the people we encounter in this book are only worried about the material wealth tied with events and items- if it is no longer relevant, it is not worth their time and resources to consider.  Even Daisy, the one person Gatsby focused over half a decade of his life on, sent no condolences or even recognition of the tragedy. Yet Mr. Gatz remembers his son and even reminisces over the determination Gatsby had as a young boy to improve himself and his social status.  This goes back to the importance of speed during this time period.  Time seems to move at an infinte speed for the residents of East Egg- the past is only a distant memory.  However, it seems that this "speed" never reached Gatsby.  He is and always will be a man living in the past.  At the same time, it is important to note how much his obsession over the dream of Daisy has consumed Gatsby. It seems as though Gatsby had a fresh and morally right future in front of him- he was a bright boy with ambitions and the right of mind (as noted by his father).  Yet Nick knows who he has become. He knows that through the process of trying to gain material wealth and consequently Daisy, Gatsby succumbed to the ruins and corruption that characterized so much of this time period.  

corruption consumed him.

The demise of Gatsby seems to highlight the moral fraud many of those during the infamous "Jazz Age".  The moral values Nick tried to find so desperately in the opulent Eggs was nonexistent: those caught up in this lifestyle could not see past the lavish parties and the swiftness of life. Real relationships never truly happened.  All the relationships in this book were characterized with insincerity, hopelessness, and artificiality.  This age destroyed even the most pristine of characters. 

"that's the best thing a girl can be...

...in this world, a beautiful little fool" (Fitzgerald 17).  These famous words from the beautiful and delicate Daisy have been posted thousands of times on ignorant girls Instagram bios.  Amid it's caption with emoji flashes and glitter, it seems that this quote has lost it's meaning in todays world where feminism is a prevalent movement and such ideas are frowned upon.

women are anything but innocent these days, from the looks of this picture

Back in the early nineteenth century, society valued women who were submissive and innocent: they were expected to remain home and take care of children and not have a mind of their own.  In a way, Daisy embodies this ideal by avoiding anything that displaces her from her more calm life.  She stays out of her husband's affairs while forgetting her real love for Gatsby.  She wants her daughter to be free of such "sinful" affairs by being innocent.  If a woman doesn't understand the truth and doesn't question her husbands motives and actions (such as where he gets his money), then she is better off being carefree.  This applies to the cliche "ignorance is bliss".  If you don't know what is going on in the rest of the world (poverty, war, refugees), you have less stress and can focus more on your own *petty* issues.  However, is this really better for society as a whole? How about for those around you? Educated people may not be able to live as non-chalantly, but they do get to understand things better without being put to the bottom and demoted as empty-headed.

innocence is bliss?

As the novel progresses, the innocence that women were supposed to have slowly slipped away to more sensual pleasures- such as Daisy's affair with Gatsby.  Like many of the women during the Jazz Age, the submissive character was stripped away as a sense of freedom came with the freedom to vote.  So maybe ignorance is not bliss after all, for such innocence can cause servitude.

The dreadful day I got my ACT score...

Three weeks later, my ACT scores came out. When I got to my computer, the black screen seemed to be taunting me, asking me to unlock it. My mind was racing. "It's the test that decides your future, no big deal" it said.  I knew my parents would kill me, if they saw a bad score. They would disown me, put me "out in the wild somewhere" (Walls 280). Even more than that, no college would ever let me step onto their campus with a bad test score. I wanted to throw my computer out the door-- never let the scores get to me and ruin my life.

Instead, I logged into http://www.actstudent.org/. It was tan with a blue banner. I clicked on the scores button, and saw a blaring 36.

In the seconds that followed, I quickly scanned the subscores. 36, 36, 36 okay... 35.9 on reading?!? If this was a nightmare, I wanted it to end. If this was what failure feels like, I wanted it to end. If my parents wanted to disown me, they should just do it to end my pain. I couldn't believe this defeat was the result of 5,000 hours of studying, 60 practice tests, and innumerable amounts stress. I knew, that this moment would traumatize me for the rest of my life...

DISCLAIMERS:

1. this post was mimicking The Glass Castle page 280 (Walls, Jeannette. The Glass Castle. London: Virago, 2005. Print.)

2. this is also a sardonic post- not only did I never take the ACT and make up an impossible score, but it also shows that people put too much of their life on standardized testing (or even school and scores in general). As my fellow junior-suffering friends and I stress about getting the best scores possible, it seems like we all lose sight of what's important.  Yes, college is important, but the obsession should not consume your life and you should definitely not let a less than favorable score ruin your life.

horror

ca·tas·tro·phe

kəˈtastrəfē/

noun

1. an event causing great and often sudden damage or suffering; a disaster.

Many people will say they have not personally gone through a catastrophe. However, a catastrophe is not limited to events that affect a wide mass of people: it could be a local disaster, a family tragedy, or even a personal suffering. Nevertheless, widespread disasters affect all of us- it makes us realize just how lucky we are. Everyone comes into this world with a different circumstance. Things we can't control like our genetics, color of our skin, our physicality, etc. can greatly limit or stimulate us. In The Bluest Eye, Pecola Breedlove is restricted by her gender, skin color, nationality, and even her "ugliness". In fact, even her own race turns against her, one of whom made a distinction between "colored people [and] n******" (Morrison 124).

Supposedly, one is better than the other

Because of this, Pecola is constantly facing discrimination and, as a result, catastrophes. She is accused of killing a cat and even raped by her own father. Such events had me on the edge of my seat, filled with emotions that could only be described as horror. The only thing that kept me from breaking down was the fact that these events did not happen in real life. Unfortunately, however, these events do happen everyday, prevalently. While going through my daily internet surfing, I came about the rape accusations put upon a very well-known YouTuber: Sam Pepper. With over 2 million subscribers, he sexually assaulted and forever scarred over 8 girls. Girls that- like Pecola- are unable to come out (or even worse, are not believed when they do).
On the topic of catastrophes, the recent attack on Paris has left millions around the globe in shock and horror. Even worse, this event is happening around the globe, constantly.  Dozens of people killed in Beirut.  Hundreds of refugees dyeing in an attempt for a better life. Iraq.  Afganistan.  The list goes on. 

thousands of people have changed their facebook profile picture #prayforparis

It is important to remember that catastrophes are always happening, and each deserves mourning. You may not be the rape victim, the girl who had to pretend to be dead so she was not shot by the terrorists, or student diagnosed with cancer, but each event impacts you directly. Each event continues to remind us to value what we have and help whoever we can. On the same note, everyone does go through their own catastrophes, and even though it's not all over CNN or posters on the wall, these horrible events need to be treated with empathy. Cholly and Mrs. Breedlove's chapters taught me that much. 

"this is an attack on all of humanity and the universal values that we share" -B.O.

YOU, yes you, are beautiful

What defines beauty? Or in other words, who is beautiful?  It may be overly optimistic to say that everyone is beautiful-that is impossible.  If everyone is beautiful, then no one is beautiful.  However, it does make sense to say that everyone is beautiful in their own way- in other words, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Shortly after The Martian, I was obsessing over this beautiful face- my good friend Emily, however, was not so ecstatic

I was moved to write this blog post after reading Toni Morrison's reaction to the first time she saw "beauty" as "the force of which was equaled by the knowledge that no one recognized it... not even the one who possessed it". A fellow female classmate can definitely relate with the following situation: you're in the bathroom with a friend and she can't stop picking out her flaws and declaiming  that she is "ugly". However, when we look at the mirror, we only see the impeccable characteristics that they seem to be oblivious to.  So maybe that's the reason for the fuzzy outline of beauty- no one believes they are beautiful.  Countless models we look up to daily in magazines body sham themselves (with the help of the press, of course).  So the problem doesn't seem to be that there is no set characteristics that a person should be to be considered beautiful- rather, they are unattainable.  No matter how skinny her waist is, or how flawless her hair looks, she still won't be perfect (at least to themselves). 

this does not apply to just females; males also get labeled for "hotness"

So is a L-shaped nose, blue eyes, and blonde hair the epitome of beauty? Or can a brown-skinned, curly-hair, and dusty brown eyes also be beautiful? The answer is yes; the problem is not everyone sees that.  Toni Morrison's book explores what society deems to be beautiful and how people (specifically one lost child) react to these standards. In a nutshell, everyone is beautiful- it just takes the right person to see it (ends with a trite statement).