The Olive

Tired Student Fustrated in Self for Already Sleeping

POUGHKEEPSIE, NY--  Pressured to stop the coffee machine and proceed to her bed at 1AM in the morning, tired student Nathan Greene was said to be extremely frustrated in himself for already going to bed. "Usually I have to drink at least three cups of coffee and two cans of Red Bull, and stay up until 4AM, but this... this is embarrassing", said a gloomy Greene, who eventually finished brushing his teeth in disbelief. "It's hard to comprehend, but I'm actually tired.  God, I'm better than this. I can't be going to sleep when all my friends are still up watching Netflix.  Where's the swaggness in that?" A disoriented Greene was later seen getting up in the middle of the night to take a snapchat of himself studying to send to his friends.

Student Working Out at Gym as if it were Prom Tomorrow 

GEORGIA-- Tightly clutching her newly bought gym clothes and shoes, Cassidy Gerald breathed heavily as she finished her last set in the gym, confirmed sources last Thursday. "I need to look thinner by tomorrow-- I promise" whispered Gerald, as she jumped 5 millimeters above ground to make sure she could see her newly formed muscles bulging in the side mirror and silver flash of the Nike sign on her sports bra. "Don't worry, these flabs will be abs in no time". At press time, Gerald was petrified to realize she had been looking at someone else's body the whole time.